There are many customs and superstitions associated with weddings. In the past a wedding was seen as a time when people were particularly susceptible to bad luck and evil spirits. Many originated or are modifications of customs which began many centuries ago.

Some, such as the bride wearing something old, something blue ..., or not being seen by the groom in her wedding dress before the ceremony are known throughout the country and many other parts of the world. Others may be regional or even maintained within families from generation to generation.

They are maintained in the belief that they will bring good luck and happiness to the couple at a time when their lives are changing, hopefully for the better.

The Veil

The bride's veil and bouquet are of greater antiquity than her white gown. Her veil, which was yellow in ancient Greece and red in ancient Rome, usually shrouded her from head to foot, and has since the earliest of times, denoted the subordination of a woman to man. The thicker the veil, the more traditional the implication of wearing it.

According to tradition, it is considered bad luck for the bride to be seen by the groom before the ceremony. As a matter of fact, in the old days of marriage by purchase, the couple rarely saw each other at all, with courtship being of more recent historical emergence.

The lifting of the veil at the end of the ceremony symbolizes male dominance. If the bride takes the initiative in lifting it, thereby presenting herself to him, she is showing more independence.

Veils came into vogue in the United States when Nelly Curtis wore a veil at her wedding to George Washington's aid, Major Lawrence Lewis. Major Lewis saw his bride to be standing behind a filmy curtain and commented to her how beautiful she appeared. She then decided to veil herself for their ceremony.

The Bride's Handkerchief

Early farmers thought a bride's wedding day tears were lucky and brought rains for their crops. Later, a crying bride meant that she'd never shed another tear about her marriage. Today, we carry a handkerchief to dab away the tears of happiness and joy. How special to keep your wedding hanky and pass it down from mother to daughter capturing all the love and emotion of such a special event from one generation to another.

The Honeymoon

In ancient times, many of the first marriages were by capture, not choice. When early man felt it was time to take a bride, he would often carry off an unwilling woman to a secret place where her relatives wouldn't find them. While the moon went through all its phases, (about 30 days) they hid from the searchers and drank a brew made from honey. Hence, we get the word, honeymoon.

The Bridesmaid’s Dresses

Who hasn't noticed that the maids, ushers, and entire bridal party dress very much like the bride and groom? It was once common for the bride, her groom and all their friends to walk together to the church on the morning of the wedding. Afraid that someone, maybe a rejected suitor, would spot the happy couple and put a curse on them. The groom's friends wore clothes almost identical to his, and the women costumed themselves like the bride. These disguises tricked evil wishers into letting the real bride and groom live happily ever after. Of course, today we dress our attendants alike for the beauty and pageantry of the event.

The Blue Satin Garter

Why this "Something Blue?" In ancient Israel, brides wore a blue ribbon to signify "fidelity." The garter-throwing itself derives from a bawdy ritual called "flinging the stocking." In Britain, the guests would playfully invade the bridal chamber. The ushers grabbed the bride's stockings; the maids; the grooms. They took turns sitting at the foot of the bed flinging the stockings over the heads of the couple. Whoever's stocking landed on the bride's or the groom's nose would be the next to wed.

Today, many brides will wear two garters. The one she wishes to keep as a memento of her wedding day, possibly to be displayed on her grooms rear view mirror, and another, to be retrieved and tossed by the groom to all the young unmarried men attending the event. The "toss garter" is likely to be in the color of the wedding, and not as elaborate as the more decorative garters kept by the bride.

The Matchmaker

For centuries, the matchmaker enjoyed the honored, if occasionally ridiculed, position of ensuring ethnic identity and compatibility. Groups that wanted this assurance regularly employed the services of a matchmaker, whose commission was a certain percentage of the dowries. Today, the modern version of the matchmaker is found as easily as turning on your computer. Computer programs can allegedly match individual backgrounds and traits so accurately that two people brought together for a date can be assured of "common interests" at the very least. In any event, it is only the dating that can be arranged, not marriage. So matchmaking of a sort has not disappeared; it has merely changed its appearance and emphasis, as is the case with any custom that expresses enduring human needs.

The White Dress

The color white has been a symbol of joyous celebration since early Roman times. At the beginning to the twentieth century, white stood for purity as well. Today, it holds it original meaning of happiness and joy.

Most brides today marry in white which symbolizes maidenhood. This tradition started by the rich in sixteenth century. The tradition was given a boost by Queen Victoria who chose to marry in white instead of silver which was the traditional colour of Royal brides. Before the white dress brides wore their best dress. The colour was a matter of preference. The following is a traditional rhyme offering advice on dress colour:

Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Blue, your love will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Brown, you will live in town,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back.

A green dress is thought to be unlucky unless the bride is Irish. The old expression that a woman has a 'green gown' was used to imply promiscuity, the green staining being due to rolling in grassy fields.

The Bridal Bouquet

For centuries, flowers have stood for a variety of emotions and values. Roses for love, lilies for virtue and so on. In ancient marriages, the brides carried herbs beneath their veils to symbolize fidelity. Greek brides carried ivy as a symbol of never-ending love. Orange blossoms, (the world renowned wedding flower) were chosen by the Spaniards to represent happiness and fulfillment, because the orange tree flowers and bears fruit at the same time. During even earlier times of "primitive marriage," when the fear of demons was most prevalent, the brides carried stinking garlands of herbs and spices for the purpose of frightening off evil spirits.

Today, brides carry flowers in the color scheme of their wedding, bringing beauty and elegance as well as old world customs to their special day. Have you considered spelling out the name of your groom in the flowers of your bouquets?

Why Something Blue?

Brides of ancient Israel wore blue ribbons on the border of their wedding cloths to denote, love, modesty and fidelity. These are ideals still associated today with that color. Blue also denotes the purity of the Virgin Mary and is the most popular of all colors. Also see, "Why the Blue Satin Garter."

The Wedding Cake

Beginning in early Roman times, the cake has been a special part of the wedding celebration. A thin loaf was broken over the bride's head at the close of the ceremony to symbolize fertility. The wheat from which it was made, symbolized fertility and the guests eagerly picked up the crumbs as good luck charms. During the Middle Ages, it became traditional for the couple to kiss over a small cluster of cakes. Later, a clever baker decided to amass all these small cakes together, covering them with frosting. Thus, the modern tiered cake was born.

The Bridal Shower

Tradition says that the first bridal shower was given to a poor couple in Holland who was denied the bridal dowry because of the groom's lowly miller status. The miller's friends showered the bride with gifts to help them set up housekeeping.

Carrying Across the Threshold

During the days of "Marriage by Capture," the bride was certainly not going to go peacefully into the bridegroom's abode, thus, she was dragged or carried across the threshold. In even earlier times, it was believed that family demons followed the woman and to keep her family demons from going into the groom's home, she was carried across the threshold upon her entering for the first time. After that, the demons could not enter as she would come in and go out of the home.

Old Shoes and Rice

The throwing of rice on the couple has always been symbolic of wishing prosperity and good luck. In the Orient, throwing rice means, "May you always have a full pantry." Wheat and other grains are sometimes thrown in addition to rice, thereby also wishing prosperity and lack of want. Each shower bestows "Goodwill Traditions" of wealth upon the newlyweds. To this day, rice remains a token of a life of "plenty."

Giving the Bride Away

In times when women were granted few privileges and even fewer personal rights, the bride was literally given away to the groom by the father, usually in exchange for monetary gain. Today, it is seen as symbolic of the blessings and support of her union as a promise of continued trust and affection. Often when the question is asked by a clergy during the ceremony, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man," the father's response is, "Her mother and I."

The Engagement Ring

In the early days of "Marriage by Purchase," the betrothal ring served a twofold purpose. This twofold purpose included partial payment for the bride and was a symbol of the groom's honorable intentions. The diamond was found first in Medieval Italy, and because of its hardness, was chosen to stand for enduring love.

The Third Finger, Left-hand

In ancient times, it was believed there was a vein in the third finger of the left hand that ran directly to the heart. Thus, the ring being placed on that finger, denoted the strong connection of a heartfelt love and commitment to one another. Although during times of modern autopsy, this long held belief was found not to be so, the tradition continued to this day.

Medieval bridegrooms place the ring on three of the bride's fingers, in turn, to symbolize, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. The ring then remained on the third finger and has become the customary ring finger for English-speaking cultures. In some European countries, the ring is worn on the left hand before marriage, and is moved to the right hand during the ceremony. However, in most European countries the ring is still worn on the brides left hand. A Greek Orthodox bride wears her ring on her left had before marriage, and moves it to her right hand after the ceremony.

The Wedding Ring

The circular shape of the wedding ring has symbolized undying, unending love since the days of the early Egyptians. A primitive bride wore a ring of hemp or rushes, which had to be replaced often. Durable iron was used by the Romans to symbolize the permanence of marriage. Today's favorite is of course, gold, with it's lasting qualities of beauty and purity.

The Proposal

In the past when the marriage proposal was a more formal procedure, the prospective groom sent his friends or members of his family to represent his interests to the prospective bride and her family. If they saw a blind man, a monk or a pregnant woman during their journey it was thought that the marriage would be doomed if they continued their journey as these sights were thought to be bad omens.

If, however, they saw nanny goats, pigeons or wolves these were good omens which would bring good fortune to the marriage.

During Medieval times in Brittany the man proposed by leaving a hawthorn branch at the door of his beloved on the first of May. By leaving the branch at the door she accepted his proposal. She made known her refusal by replacing the hawthorn branch with a cauliflower.

Surnames

It was thought unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose surname began with the same letter as hers. The sentiment was summarized in the following rhyme:

To change the name and not the letter
Is to change for the worst and not the better

The bride should not practice writing her new name before the wedding. This is thought to bring bad luck by tempting fate.

Choosing the Day

Although most weddings now take place on a Saturday it was considered unlucky in the past. Fridays were also considered unlucky particularly Friday the 13th. The famous old rhyme advises a wedding in the first half of the week:

Monday for wealth
Tuesday for health
Wednesday the best day of all
Thursday for losses
Friday for crosses
Saturday for no luck at all
 

Advice on which month to marry in is given by the following rhyme:

Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.
 

Marry in May and you'll live to rue the day

May has been considered an unlucky month to marry in for a number of reasons. In Pagan times the start of summer was when the festival of Beltane was celebrated with outdoor orgies. This was therefore thought to be an unsuitable time to start married life. In Roman times the Feast of the Dead and the festival of the goddess of chastity both occurred in May. The advice was taken more seriously in Victorian times than it is today. In most Churches the end of April was a busy time for weddings as couples wanted to avoid being married in May. Queen Victoria is thought to have forbidden her children from marrying in May.

Marry in Lent, live to repent

Lent was thought an inappropriate time for a wedding as this was a time of abstinence.

June was considered to be a lucky month to marry in because it is named after Juno, the Roman goddess of love and marriage.

The Summer as a whole was considered a good time to marry and this is partly to do with the sun's association with fertility. In Scotland one popular custom was for the bride to "walk with the sun" to bring her good. She would walk from east to west on the south side of the church and then continue walking around the church three times.

Something old, something new...

Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in your shoe

The rhyme originated in Victorian times although some of customs referred in it are much older.

The "something old" represents the couples friends who will hopefully remain close during the marriage. Traditionally this was old garter which given to the bride by a happily married woman in the hope that her happiness in marriage would be passed on to the new bride.

"Something new" symbolizes the newlyweds' happy and prosperous future.

The "something borrowed" is often lent by the bride's family and is an item much valued by the family. The bride must return the item to ensure good luck.

The custom of the bride wearing "something blue" originated in ancient Israel where the bride wore a blue ribbon in her hair to represent fidelity.

The placing of a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe was to ensure wealth in the couples married life. Today some brides substitute a penny in their shoe during the ceremony as silver sixpences are less common.

The Wedding Dress

It is thought unlucky for the bride to make her own wedding dress.

It is also unlucky for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before until she arrives at the ceremony.

The bride should not wear her entire outfit before the wedding day. Some brides leave a final stitch on the dress undone until it is time to leave for the ceremony when the outfit is completed.

On the Way to the Wedding

When the bride is ready to leave the house for the wedding ceremony a last look in the mirror will bring her good luck. However returning to the mirror once she has began her journey will result in bad luck.

Seeing a chimney sweep on the way to a wedding is though to bring good luck and it is still possible to hire one to attend wedding ceremonies. Other good luck omens when seen on the way to the ceremony include lambs, toads, spiders, black cats and rainbows.

Seeing an open grave, a pig, a lizard, or hearing a cockerel crow after dawn are all thought to be omens of bad luck. Monks and nuns are also a bad omen. This may be because the are associated with poverty and chastity. They are also though to signal a dependence on charity by the newlyweds.

Bad weather on the way to the wedding is thought to be an omen of an unhappy marriage, although in some cultures rain is considered a good omen. Cloudy skies and wind are believed to cause stormy marriages. Snow on the other hand is associated with fertility and wealth.

Confetti

Confetti is Italian for sweets which in Italy are thrown over the couple as they emerge from the Church in that same way we use paper confetti. Raisins and nuts may also be used.

Before the use of paper confetti the married couple were showered with flowers, petals, rice or grains. This was to bestow prosperity and fertility on the couple.